At the end of a year. People often contemplate about their achievements and their setbacks in proportion to the duration of that year (indeed, some years last longer then others). Yesterday evening I had that moment as well.

My moment of contemplation happened when I was in the shower, when I realized that the conditioner that I had bought in New Zealand, was down to it's last squeeze. (I don't 'condition' my hair enough, I know)
Why I had to think about the idea that this was the last tangible 'souvenir' from over there, I don't know.

But it made me think about the time here and there, my life, scattered all over the place. Living abroad for 6 months and then coming back to a status quo. To a life that was set on standby.
While friends are getting married, others are babybooming or at least buying furniture together in Ikea... I feel like I am in that IKEA playarea with all the balls, attempting to juggle them, but actually just drowning away in the quicksand.

I would think that, only when I have developped the last few roles of film from over there, and have edited the NZ roadmovie, then it would feel like closure...not the end of a stupid conditioner.

Don't need the movie, nor the pictures anymore.
Closure of a whole year went down the drain last night.

A wise man once said (don't ask me his name)
the most interesting train of thoughts come to you when water is running...

Hmmm, I don't know...
I have experienced water running clockwise and counterclockwise,...and until now,...not my brightest, most lucid moments yet!

Oh... yes that shoot thingie...:we didn't make the tight deadline, we shot the film on wednesday (result can be seen on www.lovo.be as of Monday)

Instead on Saturday, I went christmas shopping...
the worst idea ever.
I can now completely visualize my own personal hell:
Getting trapped in a MEDIAMARKET on a Saturday afternoon just before the holidays. FOR EVER AND EVER.

Because really,
People are animals. Rude animals!
Unbelievable. Like a pack of wolves/hyena's (depending on what department you are) they circle around a helpless sales clerk.
Only the strongest survive and get what they came for.
Like me, of course.
Although, I must say I lost a button or two of my shirt and some plucks of hair.

Tomorrow we have the christmasdinner ... we cut the turkey into small pieces and fondue the sucker...

I wonder if it's a good idea: sharp objects, hot oil, and my state of mind.

Yes my state of mind... because this is what it looks like again:
my parents, my sisters with their husbands/boyfriends and
me myself and I alone.

Heard on the radio today as a fait d'hiver:

In the Netherlands you can give away special giftcertificates: people can pay off people's speeding tickets as a gift for the season!
Now that 's an original idea...

Anybody interested in contributing to the tickets I have received since I moved to the center of town?
45 minutes overdue on my parkingmeter, or maybe a few expensive tow-away kilometers?

My job.

Let's talk about my job this week.
We have a shoot on Saturday. And I have to organize it before that time.
Normally: yeah man, cool. Time enough.
The first time.
Shit, ... how are we gonna do this?

The budget is tight, but this time the clock is ticking as well.
I received the job on Friday, by next saturday, the challenge lies not in organising crew, cast or equipment, but in finding the right location.
A whole appartmentbuilding (ext. and int. -hallway and stairways- that are visually appealing and grand)

I don't stress. I'll find it.
So I go up to suitable appartmentbuildings and ring the bells.

Here an extract of one of the 21 conversations I had:

Me: Hi, excuse me to bother you on thi...
Nr.17: Yes! What do you want?
Me: Yes, I just wandered if you could hel...
Nr.17: I'm not interested!

BANG.

Next approach.
I wait at the frontdoor and ask a woman coming in the door:

Me: Excuse me, do you live in this building?
Nr. 21: Yes.
Me: I work for a company that makes movies, commercials...looking for a location for ...the whole blababla (with at the end; Can I come in for a second to take a picture? of the view from your apartment?)
Nr. 21: Yes Of course.

(indeed, the only thing I need, is my fake smile -because you can't keep it up all the time- and my sincere eyes, which doesn't work thru the buzzers at the door. When you are behind your door safe and sound, you can't see the charm, you immediately think: gangster/ jehova's witness or encyclopist-vendor)

But this time: First foot in the door.
SO, I go up with the woman to her apartment. She opens the door.
An old woman, probably her mother-in-law is looking at a dubbed soap (Ridge was definitaly cheating on Brooke with her mother or something). Looked like hot stuff.

I say Hi and walk to the window, take some picture and continue the casual talk with the lady of the house, about the possibility of filming from this window, if she is home on Saturday... indeed: let's talk practical!
When, suddenly my eyes drifts, in the corner of the livingroom I see a girl in vegetable state on a bed. She is in a coma.

I realize how inapprobriate my question is.
The randomness of my job hits me.

My queeste to find an approbriate location continues:
because it 's just another day at the job.
SO, I ring the next bell.

Me: Excuse me sir...
Nr. 22: WHAT DO YOU WANT?

What do I want?
Well, sir, I definately don't want to give you another reason to feel unsafe and vote Vlaams Belang, so nevermind, I'll try it another way.

but time is ticking... I've got until Saturday.

Life in Brussels.
Bright lights, big city.

Don't you just love it?

And when you have a shitty 48 hours where you get robbed, given a fine, and was the only sober one at a big party afterwards... - which was surreal in a bad way-

you might all let it get you down.

But, what if we try to see the silverlining.
Like, the robbers, they were nice enough to drop my wallet back in my mailbox after taking the money (a lawsy 10 euros)...they did get my new phone though.

Robbers with a conscience. How about that.

And what if I would just absorb it all and classify it under de -c of:
crap weekend.

And then I say,
Shit happens.
And move on.